Happy New Year!

The year started well. I slept in and had a lazy breakfast which was interrupted by my brother ringing to say 'meet me at the theater across the street in 10 minutes and we'll see the new Narnia movie'. Lovely film, lovely company.

After we got home I took a tumble down the stairs and sprained my ankle, (yes, again! Left ankle this time. Could have been MUCH worse) followed by a trip to the vet to have our sweet little pet rat Bella sent to rattie heaven. She had a HUMONGOUS tumor and was starting to have mobility issues, so it was time for her to go before life became too painful for her, but I still cried like a baby. I don't even kill spiders or houseflies. It was very difficult to say to the vet, 'yes, go ahead and kill her'. I firmly believe in animal heaven and I know she's happier now and thankful we did what we did, but it was still sad. We buried her in the flower patch out front. In the spring she'll be surrounded by fragrant blooms. Man, I'm all teary just writing about it. Silly. She was just a rat, and she only lived with us for a month. And it was for the best. Yes, for the best. Humane. Sigh.

I wrote this bit a couple of weeks ago:

This last week was the 9th anniversary of my divorce. I kept my husband's last name after the divorce, mostly because I couldn't be bothered with the paperwork of changing it back. I had just finished getting all my ID and accounts changed over, it felt like, but I always said if I were still un-remarried 10 years after the divorce I would choose a new name for myself and keep it forever. That will be next year, which incidentally will also be the year I turn 40. Seems like as good a time as any for reinvention. And I do feel like I need to reinvent myself. I don't like myself much. I mean I guess I'm nice enough on a superficial level, but I'm not a dedicated person. I skate by on pretty minimal effort. In order to really approve of myself as a person I need to be more actively engaged in bettering myself, spiritually, emotionally, socially, financially. I need to cultivate more discipline in my life. So perhaps as a 40th birthday present to myself I will take for myself the name of one of the kindest and most industrious people I know; my grandfather Elmer Hansen. That's right. From now on you can call me Elmer. Just kidding. I'll keep Leah, but I'm serious about the Hansen part. The new me will not wait for the life she expected which hasn't occurred, and will attempt to cease repining for what she doesn't have. The new me will go forward with her life as a single person who has contributions to make and who deserves a full life, not a life of continually disappointed expectations. Not a life of waiting. I'm done waiting. My life is what I make it now, independent of anyone else.

Since writing the above I've made some specific resolutions for the coming year. Just two. Number one - I would like to take to heart the advice I heard in General Conference and become an early-to-bed-early-to-rise kind of person. I think I will feel better physically and be more organized if I get more sleep... so I'm going to try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Since my new work schedule starts at 6 am that means I'll be arising at 5 am every day Gah! And going to bed at 10 pm.
Number two - I will try to be nicer to people. I realize that's very vague, but I mean to try to be of good cheer, particularly at work, not to let little totally unimportant things get to me, not to let little annoyances ruin my whole day. I'm going to try to smile more, even if I don't feel like it. We'll see how it goes :)

And lastly, just because I can: Some days at work I think deep and meaningful thoughts. Those are few and far between. Some days I think frivolous thoughts. Those are many. Sometimes my frivolous thoughts amuse me to such an extent that I have to share them and today you are the lucky recipient of my confidence. Yesterday I witnessed an altercation between a driver and an unruly passenger who's language left much to be desired. It got me thinking about this poor young man who has yet to realize that profanity doesn't earn you respect, it marks you as a particular kind of person - one who can't hold their temper and has a limited vocabulary and therefore a limited intelligence. I started to think about the art of insulting intelligently... is there such a thing? Anyway, this is the result of my ruminations. Judge me if you dare: "If my canine companion were as unpulchritudinous as your mother I'd use a depilatory on her gluteus maximus and instruct her in the art of hindward perambulation". Bah hah!

Best Christmas Present EVER!!!

This is my brand new Top of the Line Simmons Beautyrest Pillow Top Ultra Plush Fancy Schmancy Mattress. That's the technical name. This thing of wonder now belongs to me courtesy of my highly wonderful and generous Uncle Snake, the best uncle in the world. I am in love. I should have taken a photo of the mattress it was replacing and you would better understand my excitement. I believe it was older than I am. It had the stains of generations of children and a valley as deep as the Grand Canyon eroded into the middle by years of burrowing bodies. If this photo makes my room look about the size of your average dorm room, that's an exaggeration. It's smaller. I have lived in houses with closets bigger than my current room. There is literally enough space for the lovely and fabulous new twin size bed and about a foot of walking space around the edge, most of which is taken up with very small furniture. Like the wallpaper? I did it myself :D

Whew!

Since posting the last, I received a message from the lovely and gracious buyer of the second sculpture informing me that it arrived in beautiful condition. Yay! I didn't kill it! My shipping method works :) I could see you were worried about it. Now you can rest easy.

Woot Woot!

Miracles do occur! I finally sold 2 book sculptures on Etsy. These two beauties have found new homes :)

I hope their new owners are pleased with the real articles. And I hope they arrived intact :0 I sent them off last week and haven't heard back from either of them if they survived the shipping process or not. I've been toying with the idea of closing my Etsy shop, since I hadn't sold anything AT ALL since I opened. Now I'm not sure what I will do. I'd like to find a local venue to sell at. That way people are seeing exactly what they're getting and I don't have the hassle of shipping. But this pesky day job keeps me from having the time or energy to pursue it more actively. And I guess part of my reluctance is shyness about the validity of my craft/art. On Etsy I can post anonymously and no one can tell me what I do isn't worthy. If I go to the local art/craft places here and say, hey can I display here, they might look at my stuff and sneer... yeah, yeah, I know - man up. If I don't have confidence in my art I can't expect anyone else to.

Ho Ho Ho

After a marginal evening at work yesterday which left me crankier than usual, I decided to make an attempt at elevating my mood before going home. My long suffering mother deserves better treatment than I was likely to have given her had I gone directly home, so I decided to visit the Mario Pastega Pepsi Cola Bottling Company of Corvallis' annual Christmas light display. This is a staple of Corvallis wintertime festivities and it wouldn't be Christmas without it. I generally strong arm my family into driving through on Christmas Eve, much to their annoyance to hear them tell it. They love it and they know it, no matter how much they might argue to the contrary.

One can't help but be cheered by such a display.

Alphabet Soup

My niece's baby shower is tomorrow. They're naming her wee bub Henry Mason, so I made this for the nursery wall. I hope she likes it and it doesn't end up in the closet... as a door stop. I fortunately live right next to a sporting goods store, the staff of which very kindly allowed me to skulk around taking photos. My favorite is the e. I was pretty stoked when I found that. I think I actually clapped my hands and jumped up and down. Right handed mitts are rarish. I also really like the texture of the h photo. Unfortunately I have to work tomorrow and can only attend the first 20 minutes of the shower, so I probably won't get to see the unwrapping of this masterpiece. My mum has strict instructions to observe and report.

My bro moved into new digs this week so I spent two days in Portland packing and moving so he wouldn't have to do it all himself in the middle of his midterms at school. I am sore. I press ganged two friends of mine into helping and I have it on good authority that one of them cried in the shower this morning while washing his hair because it hurt to lift his arms. I feel you, my friend. I have a bruise the size of Wisconsin on my arm. But it's worth it to see my bro in a better place. And he'd do the same for me, right???

Adieu, my little friend.

OK, I know I'm the biggest goober on the planet, possibly in the universe, but I can't help it. My little pink blogger friend sheep is gone and a bit of sunshine has gone out of my world. I know she made it difficult to load my blog. But she was always glad to see me, so unlike most of the people I deal with in my work. I deleted her and I felt like a murderer doing it. I actually cried. Big tears. How sad is it that one of my most satisfying sources of validation is from an electronic sheep. I need to get a life.