Sunday, October 4, 2009
The shape of the world has changed, for me. I don't mean my everyday life will be different now than it has been. I will go on working and living as I have done. But the world is now for me a fundamentally different place because Charlie is gone from it. The only other witness to that era of our life together is gone, to myself as a married woman and all that that entails. There is no one to dispute or corroborate my interpretation of events. No one to whom I can now refer potential suitors, should there ever be any. "Go talk to Charlie. He knows what it's like to be married to me." I can't get used to it - Charlie has moved on. What is he seeing? What is he doing? Is he happy?