This evening I attended a birthday party for my friend Jonah. Contrary to what appearances might suggest, today was not his 14th birthday, but his 28th. He is obsessed with Tony Stewart, (a Nascar driver, for those of you who, like myself, are clueless about these things). Tony's number is 14 and he drives a red Chevy that is way more sporty and way less lumpy than we managed to make it look on the cake. Any illusions I might have had about my budding career as a superstar cake decorator have now died a painful and humiliating death.
For Jonah's present, I got him a bottle of... wait for it... Bacon vodka. I know. It sounds vile, but he'd been talking about it for months, wanting to know what it would be like. He's a big bacon fan. I am still pretty ambiguous about the morality of gifting alcohol to non-member friends. I've never done it before, and will probably never do it again, but of all the people I know, I trust Jonah to drink responsibly. He's not a big drinker. And for all of you wondering if Bacon vodka is the next big thing - Jonah and his lady Coral both made a mad dash for the loo after taking a half shot. There were sounds of spitting and tooth brushing, among other things, so I would imagine it's an acquired taste. It smelled revolting. Of course, me being the evil cow that I am, I cackled hysterically through the entire episode. I hadn't intended it to be a gag gift, but it certainly turned out that way.